I set up an OK Cupid account long ago whose purpose was to find people to OM with. I loved my experiences with my OM partner, but I didn’t like the idea of having to rely on him for OMing. I had some nervousness about stepping into the world of “interviewing” OM partners, so with the frequent OM’ing I was experiencing I never found the motivation to respond to people who seemed up for it. But then my OM partner and I deciding to take break. Since there are no other OMers in my community it seemed like the perfect time to put my toe into the waters and see what I could create!
The journey of finding new OM partners has been fascinating, entertaining, nerve wracking, and revealing. Thank goodness for Sarah, the OM coach who officially trained me, nearly a year after I started my OM practice. She helped me to see how my own OM practice had lost some of the container integrity, but also offered to train possible OM partners I found in my area. SCORE!!!
I met with two people who replied to my OKC account. In both situations I was clear that I wanted to engage in a strictly OM relationship. Even with that clarity, I’d notice thoughts come in to sabotage the non romantic and non sexual container that I was really longing for. Really nice biceps. The fact that I wasn’t having any sex. Etc. Yet, I kept returning to my clarity, over and over. It felt really important to me that when I was relating to each of the candidates that I be super clear that this had nothing to do with a relationship, with romance, or with sex. I fielded lots of questions from both candidates, and with each of them I found clarity with in myself and moved from that. It felt really profound and important to find that clarity in myself, FIRST, and move from that place, as opposed to responding to someone else’s clarity. Go me!!!!
After the candidates passed the “in-person meeting test”, I introduced them to Sarah via email, and each of them got themselves trained. Even though I was wanting to find new OM patterns, I wanted it to be as easy and mature as possible. I gave both of them the information, and then left it up to them to get trained/follow through. No hand holding, no encouraging, no mothering. Both of them did exactly that!
Today I had my first OM with one of the candidates (I will write about that in my next post)! And while I was in that OM, I got a text from the other candidate requesting an OM. I’m excited about returning to the practice of OMing! And continue to be grateful for all that it teaches me.