I do inquiry for a living- I get paid to help people inquire into their own experience, and I inquiry as a hobby- I spend a lot of time exploring and inquiring into my own experience. It seems that inquiry always makes it’s way into OM’ing at some point or another (at this point in my life it feels like inquiry is always “just happening”), but this morning something more specific came into my attention. In my mediation this morning a specific experiment suddenly popped forth from guidance: OM while inquiring into perceiving, and into who/what was perceiving. This is a bit like Ramana’s “who am I” inquiry, meets Nisargadatta’s “I am that,” distilled down into perceiving/who is perceiving.
The thing is, however, is that my OM partner and I are in a bit of flux atm. The guidance very clearly came through… to do this experiment with my OM partner. But because we’er not even really talking right now it made almost no sense to contact him! And yet guidance doesn’t necessarily make sense, and I know this. I am committed to trusting guidance- so I knew I had to contact him and ask him to OM. Oh boy!!! As he was on his way over I checked in with my nervous system. Having come right out of a client session, I was already in my body with little content running in my mind. But there was some general nervousness and slight worry. I trusted that despite our disconnect we’d be able to have a clear OM. Trust is really amazing. I trusted my own pure intent in wanting to OM, and as I continued to lean in, I trusted that he would show up with good intent as well. The experience of that was really beautiful, and I could feel my nervous system relax and open. The main thing left in my attention was excited-ness and curiosity with regard to the experiment and how it would go. I felt very child like and playful. And to honor my OM partner for a moment, whatever disconnect we’d been experiencing personally seemed to go on the back burner as he sat down in the container to OM. That is something to be honored for sure!
We spent a little extra time grounding in the container, and began. The first thing that I noticed was a subtle pulsing that was floating on my pussy. Not on my clit, but to the right side. I saw colors and felt warmth. The pulsations seemed to gently dance up and down, and then the dance extended and went up and around my clit and back to the original area. It was as if my clit was being cradled, loved. This was a very sweet way to start an OM. 🙂
I can’t begin to possibly write about all the gorgeous valleys and peaks that I experienced as I let the inquiry of “perceiving/who-what is perceiving” lead the way. Each time the inquiry was in my attention, my awareness would expand in multitudes- letting in more and more data, more and more sensations, more and more space and exquisiteness. My body physically gyrated and danced. Loud gasps spontaneously exploded from my mouth, which turned into laughter or giggles a couple times. At one point the sensations of climax arose in my attention, but instead of them being localized in my clit, the sensations were traveling along a cord of sorts that went into the sky. Moans and cries of delight. My clit felt as if it was being made love to, not by a finger, but by god. My beingness was being made love to by that which can’t be named or identified, but which “I” exist within. After the bell dinged and he started to down stroke, a surge of energy flew up to my heart and tears spilled as my heart expanded.
I sit with gratitude for the inspiration for today’s experiment, and for the tight container of OMing. How to even explain this… the seemingly linear OM exercise became infinite and without limitation. It is for sure a paradox- that the clear container of an OM, with very succinct instruction, and the seemingly simple movement of a half inch stroke of a clit, can explode into that which can’t really even be talked about. From the precise form of OMing, formlessness is birthed- the subject/object limitation drops and the essence of all beingness is invoked.
Once again, thank you OM. Once again, thank you guidance. And once again, thank you OM partner.