Different, not necessarily better

It might be the hardest thing to convey to someone- OMing really isn’t about climaxing. Seriously. No, really. We’re not working toward that. It’s not the goal, in any way. It doesn’t mean success. It doesn’t mean anything, other then climax.

In a previous OM I had waves of fear arise and fall away. Moments of terror, and moments of sadness. I cried. I shook. I grimaced. I also orgasmed. And smiled and laughed and released released released. It was a great OM. Whatever that means, i’m not exactly sure. 🙂

In another OM I had no fear, no tears, no ptsd responses. Oh, and I climaxed. As I sat up my OM partner said something about how this one was better. I’ve forgotten the words because, well, oxytocin high. But yeah, he assuming better because I’d climaxed. I smiled and said, really, the OM isn’t better when I climax.

How crazy is it that I mean that. But even in my oxytocin high I had the sobriety to know that it was true. Sure, climaxing is great. It’s fun. To be so present to such a physiological response, and all the yum that comes with that. It’s freakin’ awesome! But it really, truthfully, it wasn’t “better.” Climaxing  feels damn good. And so does releasing trauma. So does being present, with whatever is arising. Does anything really feel better then presence?

I get that from a certain perspective climaxing could be identified as better. Or, the other OM, where I healed some trauma, could be identified as better. But “different” seems like a useful word. All OMs are profound- they are all rich, deep, in their own uniqueness. And they are all different.

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