I’ve been contemplating sexual predation so it seemed apt to study predation in today’s OM.
I laid down and situated myself and am reminded immediately of how vulnerable it can feel to OM. My legs spread wide open, pussy fully explored. Here I am. Here’s my pussy.
My OM partner covers me with a blanket. He’s been paying attention and knows I like a blanket on me, over my pussy, when he first starts to ground me. He’s here, present. He aware of my vulnerability.
My foot is connected to his. His legs are warm, and angled just right as to not press down onto my belly. His wide hands ground me slowly. He knows I’ll let him know when I’m ready. He waits for me.
If there is any predatory energy on his behalf, I don’t feel it. I feel safe. He’s here to support me, and here to feel himself. I let him take care of himself, and I let him take care of me. And I take care of me. And I take care of him by being true to myself- conveying my wants and needs. I safe port him. And he safe ports me. Funny how this all feeds the both of us.
The bell dings and he begins stroking my clit. I check in to see if there is any part of me that feels like prey, and him a predator, and I can’t find it. I’m wide open exposed to him, but I’m not at her mercy in any way. I make my requests. I feel my orgasm.
At some point my attention notices how his hands feel on my pussy and legs. The touch feels so gentle, soft, loving, and present. It’s profound, and I feel my whole system relax into this comfort. If there is any predatory energy on his behalf, I don’t feel it.
My attention goes to the song of my orgasm- I can feel her singing. Unknowingly my intention shifts from studying predation to studying the song of my orgasm. My attention is glued to her. After while it is no longer me letting her sing- I’d stood back and my orgasm is now in control. My orgasm is singing, and it is my attention’s job to honor her. Somehow, I’m using my attention in such a way as to allow her song to be held.
This happens in a nuanced way that I can barely describe, but know exists because a space for her song is carved out with clarity and focus. I become devoted to her song, and sing she did.
Is there any predatory energy? Not that I know of. I feel safe. I feel more then safe. I am surrendered to the song of orgasm- not knowing where she’ll go, or what she will look or sound like.
I stay with her and she takes me places. Deep into the core of my pussy, and high above my body. Around me, and through me. It is a subtle song, and it took some discipline to stay with her.
I repeatedly watch my body “prepare” for climax, and then I intentionally relax that which is preparing. This happened many times. At some point I stop deviating from her song, and when I do climax “happens”. It’s hard to explain with words, but at some point there stops being a participatory witness, and the movement becomes it’s own totality. Time and space fell away. My body climaxes and the song continues. She sang through the continued stroking (my stroker never deviated from his stroke, which pretty much amazes me), through the shaking and undulating of my body, and through the continued climax, which seemed to go on and on. The bell had rung by this time, and she wants to continue to sing, and she does. Until the witness comes back, and I let my stroker know that it’s ok to go into down strokes.
I no longer need to ask if there is predatory energy, or any sense of predation. My body continues to orgasm, and laughter erupts. Ahhhhh ohhhhmmmmmmmmm. ❤