Tantric Zen and OMing

I was raised in a tantric tradition. From ages 23-33 i lived in an ashram that had as it’s lineage kashmir shivaism- a tantric kundalini practice largely based on Siddha Yoga teachings. I was a bahkti student, and the scriptures of the lineage weren’t nearly important to me as the experiential practice and the daily living of it.

What a surprise it was to me to come out of the ashram and be introduced to the new age practice of tantra, which largely seems to focus upon sex. In the ashram, tantra was “applied” to all of live. It was life. From cleaning the toilet bowl, to cooking food, to sex. It was all a sacred practice of love.

I get that that isn’t much of a sell for the modern society, so I understand why and how tantra got hooked up with sex- bc sex sells. And, sometimes you have to get tricky to help people wake up. David Deida, for example, has done a great job and luring people into spirituality under the guise of sex. Unfortunately, some people never grow past that, and think the main point of his teachings is about sexuality (I’d find that somewhat adorable if his followers weren’t often so sexually predatory in nature). People even misunderstand Osho- thinking tantra is about the ecstatic.

Tantra at it’s heart is an embodied,  eNstatic, practice. Sure, it can include practices that take you “out”, but the design is sustainable: available at all times because it comes “from within.”  I see OMing the same.

OMing might easily be seen, and practiced, as an ecstatic practice. And there is nothing wrong with that. It is fun to go out- or, “up and out”, as we say in the spiritual biz. But embodied and sustainable it’s not.

I figure that’s why Nicole’s design of the practice included a tight container and a strong emphasis/basis of no agenda- particularly with regard to what people often have as an agenda in sex related practices- climax.  OMing, at heart, is not about the kind of experience you have. Because anyone in the spiritual biz know that “enlightenment” has nothing to do with experience. As such, this removal of agenda, and focus on experience, puts OMing as more an enstatic practice.

What’s cool is that the design of OMing can help one to really grok this- if the container is truly followed. It actually becomes self evident, no pun intended.

While it’s certainly possible to have an embodied climax, it’s not the norm- attention most readily goes OUT during a climax. As in “mind blown.”  It takes more conscious effort to bring a climax down and in. So much effort that it can be impossible for most people.

The beauty of OMing is that it is orgasm focused- and orgasm is sustainable because it comes from within. Orgasm *can be* (if consciously practiced as such) embodied as it can easily be approached enstatically.  Again, this becomes self evident if the container is deeply followed and practiced.

I’ll always be a tantra girl, because orgasm just lives and breaths in me (thanks kundalini!). But these days i prefer to think of myself as more zen. Maybe i’ll think of myself as “tantric zen”.  Hell, it’s probably already a thing.

Zen quickly strips down the focus from experience- something to achieve- into that which is sustainably present at all times. It’s not flashy like the “modern day” tantra. It doesn’t promise thrill. It won’t give you a quick high.

And, luckily, it doesn’t feed our culture’s heavily addictive personality. Zen won’t be attractive to those who want to get lost in seeking peak experiences, going “up and out”, dissociation, and “feeling good.”

Zen is the opposite- about fully landing here, and now. I happen to think tantra is about that too. But our culture has fucked up that message left and right. So i’ll leave tantra to all those that want “more” and “better”.

My nervous system thanks me for it. OMMMMMMM


Release; Sustained aliveness, part 2

“I already know I want extra slow strokes today,” I shared with my OM partner.

I’ve been studying my nervous system intensely. And dabbling in karezza. And exploring my addiction, and culture’s addiction, to peak experiences.

All this has shown me that while a part of me loves the roller coasters, my nervous system thrives on that which is more sustainable. Slow. Deep. Wide. A present and softened nervous system. A vast world exists here. What is connects to while in that “place” yields sustained pleasure and spaciousness, as opposed to a quick thrill from eratic hormonal fluctuations. Not that there’s anything wrong with hanging from a chandelier. But my system is craving more.

It seems that my body is trained to grasp at pleasure. I immediately notice this as my clit is being stroked, and how my body is naturally going into “climax mode.” My physiology is drawing itself towards it. To “milk” it. To coax it out. To hold it and then try to make it more. All of this references active movement toward, as opposed to a surrendering. My physiology striving. efforting. going for it! achievement. In a nutshell, my body wants to “go over.” It wants a Peak Experience, from which to go over from.

It’s as if, as my clit is stimulated in such a way, my nervous system automatically prepares for climax. Tightenings appear throughout my system. My hands press down/engage more. My clit and pussy contract inwards (as if to suck a climax into itself). My hips or legs want to tense. My breath may or may not want to hold. Even my chest may tighten a bit. All of these physiological responses are minute for the most part. They could easy escape my attention, if my studying my nervous system and all the subtle ways it responds wasn’t my latest hobby. But my nervous system is my hobby, so i’m privy to all the ways it becomes active- and ultimately creating stress on my system.

Every time I notice a clench engage, I invite space into it, and it releases. Over and over AND OVER I do this. Particularly with regards to my pussy. She can’t.help.but.want to strive towards a peak experience. I help her unwind this drive. I help her soften. I help her be present to RIGHT NoW, and not be a slave to what it wants to happen, with the false promises it brings. My system loves getting high, you see. And yet, with every high, there comes the rebound. Just like with a junkie. And it reeks havoc on my nervous system, and me.

I keep widening my scope of attention. I keep widening the energetic sensations of my pussy, my heart, my breath, my coccyx, my hands. I keep inviting the various contractions to release, to come into full allowance of this moment.

All of the sudden the grasping stops, and a homeostasis falls over me. I feel his hand or arm resting against my leg. I feel the smooth strokes of his finger against my flesh. I can literally feel my system breath a sigh of relief as if I’ve come home- as if I’ve arrived in that which I’ve always wanted, but was too busy seeking to actually experience. My width of perception widens. Urgency falls away. A richness of presence is known. And this is where I spend the rest of the OM: awake in this sustainable and easy presence.

My nervous system is no longer preparing to have a peak experience. Instead she’s opened up to a sustained pleasure that nourishes me and alivens me deeply- ahhh sustainably. The pleasure from this far exceeds the pleasure of grasping at, with, for climax. It’s less dramatic- and i wonder if those of us who are inclined to live for peak experiences have linked pleasure with drama. There is no drama here, but there is endless pleasure. There is no promise of “peaking”. There is no cat and mouse, push or pull. There is something much richer, but more importantly for me and my nervous system, there is something sustainable.

Typing this later, there is a high, but not a high that comes from a spilling over, before the system “comes down.” There is no yearning, no wanting to release, which sometimes happens when my system is trying to fight for a climax. There is nothing missing, nothing sought after, and nothing to recover from. There isn’t the flying high/head mania that can come post climax. Instead there is the kind of clarity and groundedness that comes after a deep meditation. My legs, my feet… my whole body- and way beyond- is all online. Ah, yes. Orgasmic Meditation.






Sustained Aliveness, part 1

There’s something that’s been hovering to the side for me wrt OMing. Listening to a program by Tim Ferriss over the weekend helped me pin it down, and has inspired me to write about it. Tim asks his guest, Michael Gervais, how he decides which clients to take.  Micheal says- if they seem to have little regard for others/and are in positions of high influence, if their aim is possibly to harm other people or to be more powerful, then he doesn’t take them on as clients. This really lit me up as it is been something I’ve been exploring with regards to OMing, as well as with clients/ my own private practice.

I’ve learned first hand that there are some people in the world who learn practices, engage in coaching, participate in workshops, even engage in therapy and so on not because they are that interested in dismantling their own ego, trauma, deficiency stories, blockages, etc, but to justify their actions (or validate their already strong sense of self), as well maneuver more cleverly, with finesse, others in their life. In other words, they pursue psychology and spirituality so as to be able to up their power over others, as opposed to relinquishing their own learned power structures. This might seem like a “DUH!” but I can have a pretty innocent, naive and possibly ignorant view of the world sometimes.  If I hadn’t been in relationship with such a person I wouldn’t have believed this to be “a thing”- but indeed it is.

Enter OMing. My journey with OMing has been rich and mainly empowering, But I had some very convoluted experiences with OMing early on with said ex partner. As such, I directly experienced how, when out of integrity, OMing can be used not for evolution of both people but for ulterior and selfish motives.  My own hormonal, chemical and very open states were often manipulated, in very subtle and perhaps unconscious ways. The harnessing of the female, for the benefit of the masculine. With me being oblivious to it all.

This was back in the days when I didn’t understand the power of love/sex hormones. I was not conscious of their dance. I was not conscious of what happened with me psychological and emotionally when I was in under the influence of peak oxytocin states. And I didn’t grasp how crucial it is to extend consciousness to such pleasure states. More over, I didn’t realize how addicted I’d become to these peak states, or how they were being used. It’s why now I passionately advocate that as women we consciously connect to our hormonal and pleasure cycles and responses, and be conscious that engagements are birthed on the heels of our animal instincts are simply that- animal  instincts, as opposed to wisdom. It’s also why now I’m such a stickler for the container – which you will notice if you read my past blog posts. 🙂

I have a soft spot in my heart with OMig. Even though OMing contributed to a traumatic dynamic, after I tightened my OM container and learned about the complexities of my hormonal nature OMing became a way to deeply heal trauma. OMing has been used as a spiritual path to peel away my own egoic senses of selves and sense of separation. It has been practiced to help me better understand my conditioning, the conditioning of my culture, and to discover alternatives. OMing has helped me to land in healthy ways of relating with myself and others. As such, over all OMing has been very empowering.

So what to do? Is it possible to weed out those people who want to further their own ego sense of self through the use of OMing? Do any of us have intuitive guidance systems wise enough to spot even the most expert covert narcissist when we’re likely only seeing the best of his/her persona peeking through, hiding the buried subversive intent running the show? How can we know what the aim is of another person?

What I return to over and over again is to the importance of being committed to having a tight container and a strict OMing practice that doesn’t deviate from protocol (until after many many many OMs have transpired). *This* is what will weed out the those with less then good intentions. If followed as instructed, the protocol itself will protect, and it will serve. It will protect women from their hormonal highs being exploited, and will provide the circumstances for enlightening and yet sustainable experiences to reveal themselves.

I sometimes notice how quickly people want to deviate from the protocol- innocently, bc they don’t know what they don’t know. But if people can suspend doing it *their way*, and trust that there is actually a method to the madness (that all the old time OMers will attest to) an unexpected discovery will take place. Women, trust in the protocol. Men, trust in the protocol. Do not deviate. Be patient.

I continue to advocate for a strict protocol, and invite women to let go of striving or reaching for climax or any kind of peak experience, and instead rest in the discovery of what lies beneath that- a sustainable aliveness that can permeate life in ways never thought possible.