Surrendering into formlessness

Humans often get separated from our true essence early on in life, and sometimes never find our way back to remembering it. But for some of us it is the conscious journey that we’re on- to re-unit and remember who we really are.

The urge, or drive, for humans-for myself- to grasp, to go after, to get… continues to a deep study for me. Physiologically, mentally, emotionally… I’m so driven to achieve, obtain, have, get…

The short term bliss from a climax is so powerfully seductive… i watch as my body wants to forgo communion with being, and get temporarily lost in the hormonal fix of climatic pleasure. Some part of me wants to forgo sustained beingness, for a boost of ego.

I recognize that this is not bad- that it is the design of the human species. **In part.**  Also included in this design is the ability be aware and conscious, and to remember my essence and participation with/as the divine matrix/life/god/beingness etc.

Amnesia creeps up everywhere- sometimes without knowing it and other times from choice. My ego state is quite powerful, and it is a dance to establish connection with who I really am whilst falling back into the old habits of ego/small self-ing.

In today’s OM I studied the dance of surrendering to that which holds all- whatever word you want to give to it- and engaging back into a sense of self.  It’s fascinating how simple it is to drop/lean into Beingness, but so not simple.  To “give up” to Knowing of Beingness, and relinquish the certainty of the mind- it’s counter to all training of the western world, perhaps. To give up to a not-knowing, to an empty, yet to be created form, is perhaps the ultimate leap of faith.

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